how i found my blog name

 i am in love with this story ♥ before i started a blogged i freaked out over what would be my blog name. i am very indecisive & like i said earlier, i really lack creativity lol. i love this story because i know God was in the mix & has been throughout the past few years. so here we go

about 2.5 years ago, the song Oceans by Hillsong became very popular . i'm sure you all have heard it before, it goes a little like this

    

 i immediately fell in love with this song & it became my prayer. a few years before this song, i went on a mission trip & felt like God has called me to do some kind of mission. not having ANY idea what God had for me, i began to fast & pray to find His calling for me. i would pray this song over & over because i wanted God to take me to a place i've never been. a place where i don't even second guess Him or myself. a place so deep where all i do is trust & lean on Him. a place where His presence will be & He wants me

    at the time my husband and i were volunteering with the church's high school youth group but i just didn't feel connected. i felt like i was just drifting through life without a purpose , without meaning. after a few months , i found out i was pregnant.... oh & maybe i should mention i didn't want kids ANYTIME SOON or maybe even at all - i was pretty upset. how can i go into missions with a baby? how can i volunteer at places with a baby. i saw this pregnancy as a roadblock to my ministry, to my calling. how could being a mom be a ministry!? little did i know, God was taking me to a place where i asked Him to take me, to a place where i have no other choice but to trust Him. that's what i wanted after all, right.

   it is crazy how i think i know what i want & what i need & sometimes don't even consult God when He is the one who truly knows what's best. God saved me from myself by giving me something bigger than myself. i am in complete awe of how my life has changed ever since i became a mom. the past year & a half, i have been more emotionally stable, more motivated, happier & really learned to enjoy my role as a wife & mom. i'm pretty sure my husband has even liked me more this past year & a half haha. even tho i thought motherhood is what God has for me (in this season) i still struggled that i'm doing enough, if this really is mission work itself.

   about 4 or 5 months ago, my husband & i really felt a desire for change or something new. after praying about it, we both came to the conclusion that maybe it's time for another baby. honestly, i struggled a little with it. i absolutely love being a mom & wanted another baby , but i was scared that maybe motherhood isn't really a ministry at all & i'm missing out on making disciples. i continued to pray & kinda argue with God. when i first heard Him speak to me about another baby, i said "ok God if that's really you, i need a confirmation to be sure. sure enough the next day i got my SECOND confirmation that yes, God's calling for my life in this season is homemaking & motherhood. but of course i'm pretty stubborn so i said again. "ok God if it's really you again, i need one more confirmation. seriously, not even a week later God spoke to me again. wow now its real. i have NEVER had a experience where God has confirmed something so vividly 3 times !! i was in awe - i kept saying to myself... "wow, this is so cool, how is this happening to me!" i've always heard of cool stories like that where other "strong" Christians get a confirmation for the calling in their life, but never me!!

   even tho i was extremely excited that i know i am doing God's will, satan began to creep in and brought  up all my negative thoughts about how motherhood inst a ministry. i mean everybody's doing it, what makes you so special. so with that in mind, i brought it up to the girls in my bible study since some of them are also moms. they began to confirm that God has spoken this on my life & if i want God's calling, then this is it. motherhood. they began to pray over me, it was extremely moving. the first friend began to pray for comfort in His plan, the next friend began to pray for my anxiety & the third friend started praying & said.... "what keeps coming to mind is , Mom Without Borders" God is creating you to be a mom without borders.... yup- i began to cry. only God knows that my prayer to was to be lead to a place where my trust is without borders. how could this not be from God. 

   so in May we found out we're pregnant & due in January!! we're extremely excited & now when satan tries to tell me being a mother isn't enough - i actually fight back with proof from the living God that being a mother is enough & being a mother who leads her kids to Jesus isn't easy in this world. this is my calling for this season & i am completely okay with that! Trusting God isn't always easy but it is always worth it. i prayed to trust Him without hesitation & i'm still learning. i prayed He would take me deeper where my faith would be made stronger - it is.  i prayed He would lead me to WHEREVER he would call me - i'm following His lead. God is so good & i am thrilled to me a mom. a stay at home mom. 

thanks for listening ♥